nOt jUst debRis

t’was just an ordinary night of December, two years ago, I was scanning the sky, enjoyed glancing at bright objects above, especially Venus.  She was extraordinarily bright that evening and twas awesome. Beautiful. Then just wondered where my star, adhara, was. I had always known her location during my elementary days but lost track and I just couldn’t remember anymore. Sad, it was.  Not very far from where Venus was, another bright body captivated me.  Well, this time, I didn’t know what it was.  SO, research, research! hehehe… So, twas, Sirius, then. 

EUREKAS!! 

And there was my star.  I was very happy.  Adhara and Sirius is just on the same constellation and not the hard way that I found it.

yeehey! ADHARA’s been spotted!! 

Remembering myself that night, I have wished, it also isn’t that hard to find myself. hu..hu..hu…  I really feel lost these times.  It’s Christmas, and I don’t feel the same way that I felt during Christmasses, the previous years.  Is it just me? or it’s really the way things should be?%$%^*& 

I wished for a better me this coming 2006…  I wished to SPOT the real me.  I wished to be myself again. I wished to be the self that I am.

haayy! libog noh? ako sad nglibog…  *smiles*

one year has been added.  When somebody would ask my antiquity on earth, damn!(hihi..)  another year is added!hu..hu..hu..  ka-sad..

anyway, at one point, I know I should be thankful. Thankful for countless reasons…  It’s just that I counldn’t be considered a kid.. dli na cya matabang!hu..hu..hu..  Really, scary it is, to think about all that I will go through.  It’s gonna be a very long journey and it’s a tough one.  And it’s getting tougher and tougher and tagher, and taffer! :(  It surely does…  Really, I’m scared.  I’m scared of breaking, I’m scared of losing, I’m scared of what isn’t expected. whew!  Lord would help me and guide me, I know.  That’s why I’m still here…

Well, anyway, Godspeed to me!

NOTE: that’s my cake over there. seen it? *sponsored by Goldilocks* LOL

LIfe now iS reaLLy verY bUsy. bUt to Me, when tHis fRustratioN peeKs at mY peAcefuL day-to-day life, I jUst can’t sAy "NO". hu..hu..hu..  vIoLin is my #1 fRustratIon!!!  aLL I caN do nOw iS jUst tHink ’bout it.. haayy! ka-Sad sa liFe..

iT sTarteD..  wIth a pHone caLL. fRiend toLd mE thaT tHerE’s tHis vIo at our bAtchmaTe’s boardIng pLace. ThEn I wEnt tHerE. I pLayed, bUt I dunNo hOw tO.  nOw tHe pRobleM is, I cAn’t gEt it oFF my mInd! 

miSeri… miSeri…  now I’m lOst!